Ripped, Torn, Dragged and Broken
by Ciel D'or Serendipite
Summary: They never wanted this, never asked for it, never wished it. But in the tensity hidden beneath a wall of fake warmth, cracks are sure to show through. Warning: Major OOC (on Rinko mostly), Abuse, Slightly psychotic thoughts, Shounen-Ai/Yaoi Abound. Multi-Chapter. Please Read and Review, Constructive Criticism Welcome. Formerly: WhitewingsFlutter


Inspired by "If Wishes Were Horses" and a multitude of other Abusive!Rinko stories like "Crumbling" and such.

Not for Rinko fans.

Warning: Slightly Psychotic thoughts, Abuse, probably eventual Shounen-Ai, or Yaoi, MAJOR OOC. Un-Betaed

Pairings: To Be Decided. Please vote on this.

Disclaimer: I don't own that wonderful shiz called "PoT" people I'm not brilliant or mad enough. Yet.

Hey guys, I rated this M to be safe, but should it be T? I'm not sure so...could you guys help me on this? Also There is a Poll for the pairing so look at that as well. Thanks.

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Her face was full of stress lines, wrinkles filled the dry skin, used to be beautiful and healthy, but she was nothing of her former self.

Her hand shook as she cut vegetables. It wasn't supposed to do that, she was only forty-two, she wasn't supposed to be this weak.

Nanjirou wouldn't love her for this, she was sure of it. He fell in love with someone strong. Someone who was kind and healthy and proud and not who she was now. But this wasn't her fault…

It couldn't be…

She didn't ask for hours of mind straining to come home to more work.

She didn't ask for house chores and cooking merely because she was the woman.

She didn't ask to be underappreciated and living a life that no longer had any joy in it.

Somehow everyone had forgotten that she worked. She had things she had to do. She had things she enjoyed, she had opinions, she had a life and she wasn't their slave.

Who was she doing this for?

Nanjiroh?

Nanako?

Ryoma?

The sound of breaking glass was a minor disturbance in her ears turned deaf.

That's right.

It was _Him_.

It was HIS fault she ended up like this.

How she ended up so frail and pathetic. It was the work that piled up from her stressful job, it was the dishes that needed washing but only she bothered to do.

It was the food that wouldn't get on the table if she were just like the rest of the _lazy asses_ in her house, and didn't bother to make dinner for herself.

It was the lazy drawl, the irritated smirk, and the languid catlike motions that irritated her.

It was the face of indifference as he slumped down the stairs.

And it was the infuriating blank tone that complained every morning when she made something that didn't tire her out as much as everything else.

It was that _stupid _comment and frown that actually complained after she did one thing that was barely even for herself, after everything she'd done for them.

So when she slapped his perfect face, she wanted to grin at the blossoming red staining his flawless cream white skin.

He was so young, so vibrant, and so different from her.

It made her feel like it was he that stole her youth.

It was his fault, everything.

When Nanjirou quit his job to devote _every minute of his time_ to _Ryoma_, it was she who had to support them.

When they couldn't cook for themselves, failing so horribly when she wasn't home, she had to feed them.

When they had to leave America, all her friends, her stable reputation, her job firm, her income, for Japan, for _Ryoma_, it was she that had to accommodate them, unpack everything.

She vaguely wondered how Nanjirou thought he made her feel when he goggled over other women blatantly, right in front of his wife.

She watched that very same man, the one she detested but yearned for love from, scream at her face red with rage.

She smiled twistedly, what right did he have to get mad at her?

She watched with unhidden glee as the blood flowed, staining the thin dainty fingers, holding the boy's cheek; the cuts most likely from her plain fingernails that she hadn't the time to take care of.

She wanted to hit him again, show Nanjirou she still had power left in her; prove it to him.

She hated those pretty big eyes, a entrancing golden color that had anybody falling over her perfect son.

But she liked the way they got wider and the fear that darted in the golden orbs. She enjoyed the tears that he tried to hold back, the stinging pain in his cheek, making the water worse.

Good. She liked that. Fear meant respect, and she had been to long deprived of her share.

And then Nanjirou was screaming at her and she had no idea why.

She wanted this.

She had given up so much for him and his _beloved _son and he couldn't let her have one slap?

She hated this.

She wanted to know what she had done wrong.

She wanted to know who the hell _fucked up, _ and ruined her life.

She fell in love, had a child.

She knew she was supposed to adore it but she never got to, because she barely got the chance to speak to him.

He was always with Nanjirou and Nanjirou was always with him.

They left her alone, isolated her.

But still she tried to be a good mother, did all the things she thought real mothers would do.

But it was merely an act to tame her inner self.

She hated this child detested it with all her heart.

It had come out of her body, but that was it. She didn't care if she wanted to kill something that was apart of herself, she hated it.

She didn't have any sort of emotional bond with it.

It had stolen her husband and treated her like a measly slave after all the things she devoted to growing him.

So really they couldn't hold it against her for hitting this person.

She didn't know him, they weren't even friends.

She didn't love him, she never did. It was pure, rough, HATE and that was it.

It wasn't her fault that this happened.

She didn't even know how this happened.

She was so, so, _so, _confused, but she knew one thing.

She wouldn't let this abuse go on any longer.

No physical hurt, no hit, slap, punch, _nothing…_

None of it would ever compare to how thoroughly they broke her.

* * *

So yeah, again inspired by the many well-written abuse fics out there, super sorries since I'm sure mine pales in comparison. /bow.

In case you guys didn't get this, it IS written from Rinko's POV. I've never read a story that has her thoughts in it, why she acts this way, why she did this or that. I mean usually it's from Ryoma's POV and we get what he _thinks _is going on with his Mom but I felt we needed more insight, so VOILA~ :D It's NOT a one-shot though so there will be Ryoma's POV too.

-Read only if you care about (or are bored enough) my rather hectic at the moment life-

SHIZ GUYS THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. I was NOT supposed to start another Multi-chapter. No. First I told my self I'd only write one at a time, nice and easy. Then inspiration decided it's totally okay to slap me in the face multiple times during END-OF-QUARTER-HOLY-SHIT-CRAM-SESSION. I'm going on my school trip in what- Ten days? and I have NOT packed yet, gotta get my homework in, extra credit and write this stuff or I'm never going to find it again. I also keep agreeing to help my friends get their hectic lives on track, I let someone copy my Homework today. WHY CAN I NOT SAY NO WHEN STRESSED. WHY.

Well anyway, be nice and Review? Please? :D Bye.


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